It’s common knowledge that kindness, honesty and respect are necessary ingredients for a good relationship. However, there are three other qualities that are often overlooked and are just as important. They can save your relationship.
If you master these three qualities you’re relationships will have a much better chance of lasting a lifetime.
1. Open-mindedness. The definition: “Willing to consider new ideas; unprejudiced.”
No matter how many relationships you’ve had, it’s always an adjustment to deal with a man who has different interests and opinions than you.
You will find yourself thinking, “I can’t believe he thinks this is a good way to spend his time,” or “Why does he always react that way, it makes no sense.”
It’s difficult to accept or respect someone else’s point of view, especially when to you it just seems wrong. We think he should think and feel the way we do, a belief that causes major conflict for couples.
You may feel compelled to correct your partner, pointing out why what they think wrong and why what you think is right.
But persuasion usually fails. How easily can someone change your mind about something by telling you you’re wrong?
Open-mindedness requires that you don’t judge what’s right for someone else based on what’s right for you. It asks that you put the judgment aside and accept and appreciate a different point of view.
As the Course in Miracles says, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”
2. Patience. The definition: “The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”
This is a big one! It requires not only patience towards your partner but patience towards yourself as well.
When you form an intimate bond with a man he can become a lightening rod for your anger and frustration just because he’s there and accessible. One of the biggest destroyers of love is anger, primarily when it is misused and misdirected.
When you project your anger onto him it comes out as blame and criticism. It takes a lot of self-awareness to catch yourself when you doing it and have the patience to accept him as he is.
When you cultivate patience you create more peace in your life and in your relationship. You can both feel like you’re on the same team.
It’s a given that at times your partner will trigger your emotions and make you want to lash out at him. But if you cultivate patience, you can take a breath and decide to react differently.
Patience gives you the “space” to make a better choice.
3. Generosity. The definition: “Showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.”
As children we’re taught about how to share with others. If you didn’t learn to share and be generous early, it’s not too late to learn.
Bringing generosity to your man will enhance his sense of safety and comfort with you. After all we all want to feel special to our partners, to know that we’re worth their extra care and effort.
Generosity allows you both to go beyond yourselves and create a connection that is supportive and strong.
There is nothing more attractive than a person with a generous spirit.
Mastering these 3 qualities can save your relationship and enhance every aspect of your life. It may take some trail and error to keep them in mind and put them into practice, but once you do, you’ll be able to have the relationship of your dreams.
Release what’s been standing in the way of finding your special someone.
