Are You Confused: Does He Love Me?

Have you ever wondered “Does he love me?” Have you ever put your life on hold while you waited for a man to make up his mind about you? I have. I waited two very long years for a man to decide whether to move to Los Angeles to be with me.

Can you guess how that turned out? Do you think he made the move? The answer’s in my book “It’s Never Too Late to Marry” in Chapter 7, but I’ll tell you now.

Not only did he not move to LA, he never even made a decision — by his inaction, he forced me to finally make the decision for him and breakup with him.

You might be wondering how I could stop looking for my Mr. Right and wait for a man to be with me for so long. Well I must confess that, like him, I too had the inability to act. I kept myself stuck in this ridiculous situation because I told myself I was confused.

I had many reasons to be confused about him. I stayed confused when he told me an old girlfriend had come back into his life and she wanted to see him again. I stayed confused when he confessed they were seeing each other — but only as friends. I stayed confused when he canceled his plans to come to LA and visit me at the last minute — twice.

What was the result of all of my confusion? Inertia. It kept me in a mental state of not knowing. As long as I didn’t make a determination about his actions, I didn’t have to take a stand.

Confusion for me was my excuse to stay in “wishful hoping” so I could ignore his bad behavior and not have to confront him with it. As long as I stayed confused I didn’t’ have to face the painful truth that he just didn’t care enough about me to make the move. Eventually I no longer wondered does he love me, I finally faced the truth.

If you’re telling yourself and your friends that you’re confused about a man, I urge you to take a closer look. In my case, the idea of demanding an answer from him as to his intentions was just too scary. I knew inside he was going to disappoint me. By being confused (which put me on an emotional roller-coaster) I could distract myself and feel safe in my not knowing.

 “Does he love me?” If you have to ask there’s a problem

Don’t let confusion keep you stuck and afraid. Confusion is how you avoid making decisions that you don’t want to make. But the ups and downs of confusion will make you crazy and eventually, like me, you’ll be forced to take a stand.

The dictionary defines confusion this way: the state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something

There is only so long you can ask yourself “Does he love me?” and take this uncertainty.  Better to face what you’re avoiding now than to spend two years of your life on hold  in “wishful hoping.”