Attract True Love Being Yourself

To attract true love, being your authentic self is a necessity. But it’s not easy. You want to be authentic but you end up becoming more the person you think you’re expected to be.

Subconsciously you may take on the qualities you think a man wants you to have. This can happen without you being aware, making it hard for you to recognize.

Or you may choose consciously to present yourself the way you think a man wants you to be. In either case, it’s not always easy to separate what you’ve adapted from what is truly organic to who you are.

If you neglect to be your authentic self it’s only a matter of time until your true self is revealed. I learned the hard way about how not being authentic can cause you and others a lot of pain.

When I was in high school the British invasion happened; everyone had “Beatlemania.”

I attended a small school with very few boys in my class. I was forced to socialize with kids from other schools who didn’t know me.

Like most teenagers, I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I hadn’t developed a womanly figure yet and I was particularly insecure about my looks, especially my nose. My mom had offered to have “fixed.” The fact that she asked me made me more self-conscious.

I wasn’t going to change my nose but I needed to change something about me. I wanted to be accepted and pursued by boys. I decided the only way to be popular was to change myself in a dramatic way. So I put rings on all my fingers and adopted an English accent.

Now when I talked to boys I had a new confidence. They’d ask my name I’d say with my best British lilt, “I’m Ringo’s sister!” Then of course I’d laugh and say, “Not really, but I’m from London.”

The boys couldn’t me. It made them feel cool to be with a girl who was actually from England. I had never experienced so much attention before.

I got a rush out of being this “exotic” person who was sought after. Even the girls wanted to befriend me. I used British slang and talked with an ease I didn’t recognize. I was amazed at the interesting person I could be.

I fell in love with this new persona and started to believe this was really me. I thought I was truly cool and popular.

But it couldn’t last. A student from my school walked in and caught me in my lie. I can still remember how the looks of disbelief on all the kids around me quickly changed into anger.

I was ashamed and mortified. I could never show my face to these friends again.

If you’re not being your authentic self, you’ll be found out. You can’t attract true love if you’re not being you. Not only that, you’ll be robbing yourself of the pleasure of being liked for who you really are. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing you can be yourself and still be loved.

Vernon Howard says it well, “Behave the way you really are, even if it ends a relationship. Never suppress yourself in an effort to influence, hold, or win someone. When we are unreal, so are our rewards.