Most women love to talk and connect. If you meet an interesting woman at an event or party it’s not unusual to quickly find yourself in a deep conversation.
Women are capable of establishing strong, emotional connections with another women in a very short time. Too bad it’s not as easy with men; then it’s a whole new ball game. You’re suddenly at a loss, not quite knowing how to act or what to say.
Let’s face it, first dates are hard and you may be putting too much pressure on yourself to be “perfect.” If on top of that you find yourself with an uncommunicative man, well that’s a recipe for disappointment.
The most common mistake is feeling that it’s your responsibility to make the date work. When things don’t go smoothly, you begin to panic and talk too much. To make things worse, you may compensate by trying to be entertaining and witty. Meanwhile nothing you’re doing is working, he continues to give you single syllable answers: “yes,” “no” or a grunt.
On the other hand, his silence could do just the opposite and make you clam up. You become tongue tied, scared to say the wrong thing or give him a wrong impression. All conversation stops as you search desperately for something to say, and the harder you try the worse you feel. You start blaming yourself for his silence, but you can get your power back and feel good about yourself again.
Here are two ways to handle this situation. You will either help him to open up and have a decent conversation with you, or you’ll find that he won’t and he’s not worth your time.
First, take a deep breath and mentally pull yourself back into your body by focusing on your heart center (the middle of your chest). This will stop your out-of-control thinking and give you a chance to pause.
Then sit back and listen. Look at him as though you are waiting for him to speak and don’t do anything. He will eventually have to say something. Depending on what he does with this opportunity will determine your interest in him or not.
The more aggressive approach (which I recommend) is to ask him outright what’s going on with him. Is he bored, worried about something or not feeling well? By doing this you are being courageous and taking care of yourself. You don’t want to assume anything so you’re asking him to tell you the truth of what he’s feeling. You’re giving him the chance to explain his “rude” behavior.
I prefer this method because it requires you to speak up. You didn’t go through all this time and trouble to meet him only to be greeted with grunts!
Either way you’ll get clarity on what’s going on and discover whether he is a guy you would choose for a second date.
Release what’s been standing in the way of finding your special someone.
