Attract, Keep And Marry The
Love Of Your Life!

There’s nothing worse than feeling a man’s interest start to slip. The last thing you want to face is that his feelings for you may be waning. All too often, at the first sign he’s withdrawing, we lose our sanity and we panic.

When we’re in this fearful place we become insecure. We assume his pulling away is because of us so we blame and beat ourselves up. As a defense against the pain, we make excuses for him, “he’s too busy at work” or “he has too much going on right now.”

Instead of investigating the changes that may be happening in the relationship, we go into desperation mode. We cling to how great the relationship used to be rather than acknowledging what’s going on in the present. We put our focus on strategies to get him back and engaged. We ignore the fact that his behavior is telling us important information, the fact that something’s wrong.

All these reactions are ways we try to avoid heartbreak. But they don’t work. There’s a much better way to handle the reality of your partner pulling away that just might save your relationship. It requires you to challenge your fears and be willing to face the truth of what’s going on.

It requires that you have a face-to-face (not texting) conversation with your man so you can bring up what you’re feeling before it’s too late. If you don’t [continue reading…]

We all have fears, some are obvious and easy to identify, but others can hide just below the surface of our awareness. Nothing will bring out our hidden fears faster than when we are in a relationship. When given the possibility of falling in love they can take over, and many times we don’t recognize what’s going on.

When fears play out in our relationships they will stop us from connecting with a man and keep love at a distance. If we’re having a hard time sustaining relationships or keep getting involved with the wrong men, it’s most likely our fears that are taking over. The stronger the fear the greater the influence they have on our ability to have a healthy love life.

Some of the most common hidden fears are:

• Fear of not being enough for a man.
• Fear of being wrong.
• Fear of being unlovable.

These fears show up because real love requires that we be vulnerable and that can make us very uncomfortable. Vulnerability implies intimacy and that can be just plain scary. So our fears will try to take control the situation by putting us on the defensive and we don’t even know it’s happening.

A defense is something we use to protect ourselves. In the dictionary a defense is referred to as “guarding, fortification; resistance, deterrent.” A defensive response is referred to as “self-justifying, oversensitive, prickly, paranoid, uptight.”

Our defenses have protected us since birth and some are necessary for our survival. But as we get older many are no longer needed for our safety. However, they can feel so familiar we continue to let them dictate how we respond even when they have no purpose. Our fears become so practiced they feel like a natural part of our personality.

Here’s an example of how [continue reading…]

Today I thought it would be fun to share a section from my book, “It’s Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and The Marriage of Your Dreams.” Let it lead you to explore your first interactions with men, there may be a gold mine of information waiting for you to discover! 

My First Kiss

Not all of your behaviors can be traced back to personal experience. You may find that as a child you learned how to interact with men through observation. As children we are very suggestible to the world around us and we pick up things that appeal to us without knowing why.

I uncovered this memory of my first real kiss when I was taking an inventory of my relationship history (discussed more in Chapter Two). I was surprised to see how early I began to sabotage my relationships with men.

My first big crush was on a red headed boy in my fourth grade class. He teased me incessantly and I responded by saying mean things to him, trying not to show him how much I really liked him. It was the first time I was aware that a boy could so strongly affect my behavior. My attention was drawn to him whenever he was around. I had never been kissed, and more than anything, I wanted him to kiss me, just like I had seen in the movies.

One recess he asked me to follow him down to the school basement. It was very exciting to sneak away from everyone to a forbidden area. When we got there, he asked me if he could kiss me. I couldn’t believe he actually asked me first, I could hardly contain myself. Looking back I see he was a gentleman in the making.

I was eager and flustered and managed to nod my head “yes.” I closed my eyes and tilted my head sideways [continue reading…]