Attract, Keep And Marry The
Love Of Your Life!

I consider myself lucky; I met my husband through a matchmaking service just before internet dating came on the scene. At the time, that was the only alternative to finding a man to date the old fashioned way.

I had to write a personal profile much like today and then a third party, the matchmaker, would pair me with a man they thought would be suitable. This made things a lot less complicated because I was being paired with men who were genuinely looking for a serious relationship.

But even in that seemingly safe situation, I had some strange experiences and not one of my first 6 matches led to a second date. Let me be honest, I have not done internet dating myself; but I have walked through the process with many of my clients and I’ve learned plenty.

What I know for sure is that things haven’t changed that much. What I needed then is the same thing you need now with internet dating— a sense of humor.

If you don’t think you have one or you’ve lost yours along the way, you need to cultivate one, and there’s no better place to do so than the world of internet dating.

You just can’t take it all too seriously. I suggest you to apply the same attitude to dating that you’d use going to a cocktail party full of strangers. You have to look forward to seeing who might be there and hope you might meet someone who’ll catch your eye. If you meet a man who is rude, a pest or just not for you, “move away” but don’t leave the party!

I know some of you are just a little too sensitive. Just the hint of rejection from someone you never met can send you spiraling into self-doubt and disappointment. Don’t fall into [continue reading…]

Here’s a great article from my friend and colleague Junie Swadron, Clinical Psychotherapist, OSP. I love it because it’s both  informative and heartfelt. 

How Do You Feel About Valentine’s Day? Do you celebrate it? Do you detest it, hoping the day will soon be over? Are you indifferent?

Well, indifferent, in favor or not, it’s here and Hallmark and consumerism have made Valentine’s Day into a Billion Dollar Day with cards, chocolates, flowers and jewelry for lovers across the world.

Yes, Valentine’s Day, no matter how it’s celebrated – isn’t lost for those in love. But what if you’re single, or widowed or divorced? Do you feel left out? Or what if you’re in a relationship but it’s not feeling particularly loving these days? Do you just wish this day would hurry up and pass?

And where did this tradition come from in the first place?

Well, the history of Valentine’s Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. However, one legend that I like, goes like this – That sometime in the 3rd Century in Rome was a fierce and brutal emperor named Claudius the II. Claudius wanted to grow his army and he was having trouble getting married men to enlist. They were opposed to leaving their homes and going to war. Claudius, believed there was no room for sentimentally – he knew what it cost him in his personal life and on the battlefield. So he decided that single men would [continue reading…]

No one gets a free pass when it comes to healing from heartbreak. I’m not just referring to the grown up kind when we breakup with a lover, I’m referring to the heartbreak we experience as the natural result of just being a human being.

It begins in childhood; young people suffer a great deal of heartbreak. I remember when I was in 2nd grade and my best friend Mary chose to take another friend on her family vacation instead of me. I was devastated; how could she betray me after all the secrets we shared? Heartbreak is not only about romance; it’s anytime we feel hurt or wounded by someone’s treatment of us.

As children our parents usually cause most of the heartbreak that stays with us. The dictionary defines heartbreak as “overwhelming distress.” If your parents were less than perfect (and whose weren’t), you have emotional wounds caused by things they said or did to you as a child. Those wounds don’t just disappear with time; they can feel as real to you in the present as they did then.

So if the pain of a romantic breakup immobilizes you to the extent that you’re unable to regain your balance in a reasonable amount of time, you can bet that your childhood wounds are [continue reading…]