Attract, Keep And Marry The
Love Of Your Life!

There’s no escaping the fact that during the holidays “stress happens.” It can make you want to pull the covers over your head and not come out until January.

If you’re single you may be full of dread as you worry about facing this holiday time alone without a partner. The holidays can magnify your feelings of insecurity and reduce your confidence and self-esteem.

The anticipation of a lonely holiday will create stress which will negatively impact your mental and physical well-being. It’s important for your health and happiness to find a positive and helpful way to deal with the stress you’re feeling. Here’s a new way to look at holiday stress.

Imagine a lecturer talking about stress management to an audience. He raises a glass of water and asks, “How heavy is this glass of water?”

The answers called out range from 6 oz. to 1 lb.

The lecturer replies, “The absolute weight of the glass of water doesn’t really matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance! In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continues, “And that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later [continue reading…]

Love messages on stones.

Pile from a distance.

My husband and like to hike with our dog, Buddy, in the mountain preserve which is a block from our house. Yesterday we came upon something that touched us both deeply.

Some young people, I assume, put together a pile of rocks around a tree halfway up the path and off to the side. You almost wouldn’t notice it because it blends so well into the desert terrain. But there it was, a wonder to behold. A large grouping of rocks all in the approximate shapes of hearts. Some of the rocks were written on and some were deliberately set in groupings around a tree.

I wondered how long it must have taken to find those rocks in the shape of a heart. How many hands worked to create this subtle message of love on this stoney path that walkers climb every day?

Some of the rocks had personal love messages. It was like stumbling on a gift; a reminder that love is the most important thing in life.

There was no agenda here, no religious platitudes, just messages about the truth of love and heart-shaped stones waiting to be happened upon when least expected.

I thank those people, these strangers for their imagination and creativity. The message of love was not only written on the rocks themselves, but given to any who wandered by and were careful to look, and in the thoughtful care that made this a true labor of love.

We all have the natural desire to look good to other people. We want others to see us as intelligent, attractive, fun, successful, confident and, well, I could go on. It’s in our DNA; how others think of us is tied to our survival. In the past, if you weren’t looked at favorably you could be ousted from the protection of the group and forced to find your own way.

But survival or not, the fear of looking bad to others is a huge hindrance when it comes to finding love. We have “authenticity” detectors and bullshit meters that tell us when someone is being less than genuine. We might not consciously recognize that someone is being unauthentic with us but let’s get real, we all have the sense that something is off and not quite right.

When you challenge yourself and take the risk of being you and sharing your authentic self, you’ll actually end up looking good. There will be a “genuineness” about you that is attractive and welcoming.

Showing up as your authentic self also gives you confidence. Confidence is one of the key traits we look for in a mate and is acquired through taking courageous action. One more reason to get real.

We can actually make mistakes and look bad sometimes! It’s the only way we grow and learn. No one wants to be [continue reading…]